More often than not, some people really don't realize that they're being mean.
I should know. If you're a friend of mine or if you've met me before, my humour is different and for a Filipino to make really dark jokes, it's sometimes considered improper. We're trained to be dainty, to be delicate and polite... And I certainly do not express my opinions or joke around like one. Thankfully my number of female friends have slightly increased after high school, but I still have to say sorry now and then for looking too serious when I'm kidding about other things...
I messaged this girl on Facebook the other day since she repinned two photos of mine on Pinterest- one "selfie" and another of me wearing this outfit. The former was posted on an album filled entirely of girls' selfies under the title "vanity", while the latter in an album entitled "Oh No She Didn't!" that was like a fashion faux pas collage. I get her, I cringe at girls and guys who post too many selfies, plus I also wasn't too fond of that certain look of mine... But the captions were really mean- from making fun of girls being too curvy and insulting them for looking like a hot mess. I understand sites that try to be witty when they point out disasters (some make a living out of this!), but this was just another side of Pinterest that I've never seen. She had the guts to repin from my account!
Whenever someone posts consecutive selfies and then deny their narcissistic tendencies, I always remind myself that not everyone has a photographer with them 24/7- I should know... I live alone and literally have to drag my sister or friend out if I want another Facebook profile photo or an outfit shot, So the rise of selfies are understandable. Getting annoyed of this, too? Get off Instagram. I've found peace in reducing the habitual reviewing of my Instagram feed when I get bored.
So I thought about what to write to her. Believe me when I say I avoid and hate judging people. I avoided calling her an "internet bully" or a troll since she wasn't in a comfortable, warm blanket of online anonymity- her Pinterest account was linked to her Facebook profile page. So I looked at her photos and saw that she was a mom. My initial reaction was "How can she be so mean, she has kids!". Then I remembered- parents are people, too! Maybe she de-stresses through Pinterest. But I can't help but think about all the girls under those albums. So I figured I'd write her a short, nice note and greeted her a happy mothers' day. That's how I've gotten through most part of my life, really. I've always confronted mean people and I'm very honest about things. But I always try to remember that they may be scared, too. Attacking people and calling them bullies, pitying yourself-- that's never really a good solution because it leads to an endless argument full of self-serving statements (LOL) and pity pleas.
Reading her message last night actually made me smile. She realised the meanness of her posts without having to ask her to take down my photo, and I discovered that she was a nice a person after all! We're all the same on the internet. We snicker at the bravery of people posting less-than-perfect photos, we comment and rant freely without the chance of getting a response from the other end. I always think twice about posting certain things and that might be the cause for the lack of entries in this blog, but if I hesitated too much to show my work, to express my thoughts, and to dress differently, don't you think I would contradict myself as an artist? This fearlessness and boldness to show everyone what I like or what I am capable of doing merely stems from being able to create and having the talent to reinvent my work. With half my life online, the one important thing I think I've learned to develop is thick skin, and of course a little bit of patience for all the negativity.
**If you still don't get her explanation, she apologised since she made fun of me for having a "fashion blog". For the record, I never call myself a fashion blogger. I post about design, my outfits, life, photography and trips... Plus I just like changing my Facebook profile photo too often. This is my space on the internet and I even named it after myself, so what's the problem? It's just so ridiculous to say that "some people shouldn't have a blog".
❤