September 2014 photo diary

Do not be deceived, it looked like a really hot day but all I did was run towards the water and then run back after less than 30 seconds because it was too cold (I forgot I wasn't in the Philippines anymore).

Necklace from Luxirare's e-shop. As if my bitchy resting face isn't enough to say that. 

This wallet necklace is just so... nifty! Especially for someone like me who commutes with a backpack 3 times a week. I like the chain even if I'm wearing a sling bag since it just adds something to my all-black outfits. A bit short for bills but I fold them twice to fit and it's fine. The best for when I need my metro card and school ID while rushing, no need to take off my backpack or reach into my purse.

We waited for about 45 minutes but it was worth it. I didn't know we were coming here for dinner so I was staaaarving, but my shrimp sandwich was the best! Try their apple pie and frozen hot chocolate (duh), you won't regret it. 

Went to the Moscot shop right after a field trip. Sad that I can't justify purchasing eyeglasses after getting my vision fixed. 

I had to sew a huge piece for class without any knowledge in sewing and headed to Mood Fabrics for materials... Instantly reminded me of Project Runway! I remember being obsessed with the first season but after that I couldn't be bothered to watch the next ones anymore. A lot of people keep asking why I'm not in the fashion biz instead-- I absolutely hate sewing, I'm not fashionable (I just like what I like) and I don't think I can survive having to pick fabrics all the time. I do that for furniture/curtains and I dread every minute of it. Anything draped and involving fabrics just makes me hate life. I'd rather shop online or have someone make clothes for me, k?

Fall! Taken at the Machinery and Engineering buildings at Pratt... 

My favourite number multiplied by itself or raised to the power of the same number. I had childhood OCD and did everything in 3s- like turning knobs, looking to one direction thrice (and to the other direction thrice, and the opposite direction thrice again to make it 3), etc... I didn't know that they had a name for that sort of insane behaviour. I'm glad I got over it/outgrew it because I can't imagine having those spells every time I'm anxious. It's time consuming and it doesn't look right in public! Half my life I'd be obsessing over unnecessary details and come on, I don't want to live like Adrian Monk. 

I've always loved the Boost technology by Adidas so I had to get those Y-3 Yohji Boosts... Also copped the Stan Smith pair by Pharrell Williams since a black on black basic pair's missing on my rack. 

Currently my favourite pair- the Puma x Alexander McQueen Move Mid high-tops. Ugh, I keep telling myself that sneakers fall under the NEED list but we all know that's not healthy. 

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It's simple.

shoes- Nike LunarElite City Pack, bag- Balenciaga, watch- Armani, coat and cap- Zara, dress (worn as top)- American Apparel, jeans- 7 for all Mankind

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You know what I've been feeling lately? 

Grateful. 

Yes, I have so much to be thankful for... but as much as I hide most of my work from everyone online, I know I flaunt enough for people to think that I'm living a good life- a bit of truth into it but I know I put the work in. And it's true, you reap what you sow but it's never instant gratification. 

I've battled enough bouts of sadness through the past couple of years but there's a huge pressure to be happy especially since I appear to have all the reasons to be content and happy. I try my best and there are parts of my life that aren't so ironed out but I work with what I have. I have enough faith to do better things and feel safe about my life decisions. 

There's always a huge pressure from inside me. People expect you to be a lot of things but the only thing that really matters is how you reach your own standards for yourself (if you have any).

So do I feel like I'm moving forward? Definitely. I had 2 months of self-doubt, of trying my hardest to keep from falling into that box of sadness. I chose to move on and I chose to notice what I had that others didn't. I know better than to wallow in self-pity. I acted on this grey area and hoped for the best. 

I'm moving forward in my career by taking up my masters in my dream city. A big deal for me but I have so much to prove and work on yet again. What are my dreams? I don't know, but I do know that I have a bigger calling. Cliche as others may think, I need to be able to serve others and provide opportunities for others as how others have given me the opportunity to do so much. The future is always scary but it makes me even more nervous if my plans don't shake me.

Every little thing in life leads to something bigger if you just allow it to. I'm not focused every minute of my life but I try to. I have fun for a reason, I get away for a reason. Do I overthink things? We all do. But we can choose the trajectory of our thoughts. I'm lucky I can now choose who and where to channel all my energy towards. A bit selfish but I believe everyone is. 

Never expect anything from anyone except yourself. That is the key to success and happiness. 

Your thoughts determine your life experiences. Keep your mind off petty things and focus on what you can do to improve yourself. Simple, really. Life is simple but never easy.

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